Going for the Gold

I love the Olympics. Not like the average person, but like a lonely house wife loves a good Harlequin novel. (or those stupid vampire books.) I find myself watching woman's rowing at 2am. I don't like woman's rowing or 2am. But they get you all hooked in by telling you about the athletes..."yes Bob, and did you know that when she was young she had a strange mix of polio & palsy?"

"Well we may see in a minute, Jim how she's over come all that to become the best the world has to offer in boat full of who-gives-an-ore."

That's enough to suck me in.

What I hate is when they sat the stupid stuff:

*He's going for the gold Bob

Really, really Jim? Are you sure he's not here for 5th or 6th maybe a good summer trip.

*She's going to give it her all!!!!

No Bob, from what I hear she's saving a little for the after metals banquet.

You know what I mean? Please comment back with some of your fav. stupid commentator comments.

WARNING

You know how on a rear view mirror it says "objects may appear closer than they are" or something like that? Why doesn't the other whole in the sink say that there is a pretty good chance that when you turn on the dispos-all it's going to huck a pound and a half of nastiness at you?
This mesage is brought to you by Resent Experience.

How old are you?

Age is a funny little thing isn't it? Relative and exact. I am exactly 31 years old (a couple of months & a few days). But I'm starting collage, thinking of getting a part time job and really pitching in around the house. I'm 18!
When people in the youngest 1/3 of life are years behind we call them retarded. However, those of us in the 2nd 1/3 of life are young at heart. (I like to think.)
That means that when my wife married me 8 years ago...I was 10...SICKO!

I'm Back

O.K. o.k. My fans have spoken, and I must write. I feel like Stephenie Meyer at 3 1/2 books. When I see Random House on the caller I.D. ...I just don't even answer. But then it came, the inspiration that is. I was watching the X Games (the Olympics of extreme sports). Some crazy man on a little boys bike came flying down a 7 story wooden ramp then up a shorter steeper ramp. Which as you can imagine sent him in to the air. 70 feet though the air. During which he took the opportunity to do a back flip. On his bike. In the air. I was amazed. The announcers conveyed disappointment as did the crowd. This semi-suicidal trick is apparently dated. DATED!...IT'S A 70 FOOT BACK FLIP...ON A BIKE! I didn't understand.

Last night I took my kids to a city park where they showed "The Three Amigos" and it suddenly clicked...sometimes the things we thought were great in the past aren't all that great. Sorry Dusty Bottoms.